Monday, September 3, 2018

Seasons of the year come and go, as do the seasons of life.  The seasons of life differ, in that they sometimes stick around longer than we want them, or all to quickly they disappear.  Seasons of the year have set “boundaries”, we know that a harsh winter will only last about 90 days and spring will arrive and stick around for about 90 days before summer arrives.   Have you ever found yourself in a season that is suddenly “gone” and you weren’t ready for it to be over?  I have….

During our summer vacation in Florida our 4th grandchild was born.  This was great news, except we were in Florida, and our newest little person was in North Carolina.  Our little Isabella (my Izzy B) was already 10 days old before my arms held her, before I placed a kiss on her forehead, before she totally captured my heart,  and I whispered “I love you”.   Oh the joy of a new little one to love.  

Over the course of the next couple of weeks I spent as much time as I could with my baby girls.  Oddly I found myself leaving each time with a heaviness that weighed on my spirit.  At one point I found myself crying as I walked around the lake after leaving Nicole’s house.  I couldn’t figure out what it was.  As I began trying to process what these feelings were all about, I realized that I felt like I was betraying Pyper.  How is it even possible to betray a one year old?  I couldn’t wrap my thoughts around the word “betrayal”, but I also didn’t understand the struggle I was experiencing.  I was walking at the lake one afternoon when God gave me my “ah – ha” moment.  He whispered the word “Season”.  I chewed on that word as I walked and as quickly as God whispered the word “season”, He said “they change”.  SEASONS CHANGE.

It didn’t take me long to process what I had been feeling into the realization that I was mourning the loss of a season in my life.  A season that held a very special place in my life, a season that I WASN’T ready to give up.   The “season” was my one-on-one day each week that I referred to as my “Nana and Pyper” day.  Each week it was just Pyper and I.  I didn’t have to share my time or attention with anyone.  For a few short hours, one day a week, ALL my affections were centered on JoJo.  And suddenly this season in my life was gone.  Now I understood why I felt like I was betraying Pyper.  What I used to be able to give to her, I no longer can, at least not to the extent that I used to be able to. 

My season with Pyper has changed.  I will miss it, I AM missing it.  A new season has begun and it includes Izzy B.  She now joins JoJo and I and my once a week, one-on-one, has become my one-on-two day, my “Nana and her girls” day.  The seasons of our lives change and my new season has expanded my heart so that I can fully love on Izzy B too.  What is so lovely about the change of seasons is that they are fully orchestrated by God.  I have entered a new season and I am so thankful for it.  I know that I can trust in the One who changes the seasons.

Today I am THANKFUL that God has placed me in a new “season” of life.

Today I am THANKFUL that my arms now hold two babies.

Today I am THANKFUL for “my girls”. What a blessing it is to be a big part of their world.

Today I am THANKFUL that Pyper has a little sister that will grow up to be one of her protectors.

Today I am THANKFUL that Pyper is so CLOSE to sitting up on her own.

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